How to Handle Rejection
A Personal Guide
Happy Friday everyone!
We all have to face rejection at some point in our lives. It could be from a project, a job application or even when one is up for a promotion.
Either way, rejection stings!
Over the course of my career, I’ve had to come to terms with rejection on several occasions.
My encounters with rejection have taught me a lot and, over time, I’ve developed a strategy that helps me digest it and move on.
Here goes…….
Acknowledge and Accept
Late last year, I was working as a Manager for a sustainability focused management consulting team.
In that capacity, I was leading the proposal effort for a project with one of the largest energy companies in the Nordics. We got to the final stage but, then, weren’t chosen eventually.
It was hard to take in because I had a lot of hopes pinned on the project and, it felt as if we had it in the bag.
I guess the first step I took was to step back and allow myself to feel the disappointment. We are often encouraged to ‘suck it up’ and move on but I think it’s okay to be frustrated or upset.
Emotions don’t go away when we suppress them so it’s important to allow ourselves the time to fully experience our feelings at such points of rejection.
For me, this step was crucial to process what had happened.
Gain Perspective
The next step, once the emotions settle, is to gauge the situation with an objective lens. This is where we can ask ourselves questions like “What could I learn from this experience?” and “Could I have done something differently?”.
Often, rejections aren’t about personal failure and it may often be down to a lack of alignment or something completely random.
Following on with the same example, I went over all the steps we, as a team had taken. While there were some last minute changes that could have been handled better, I didn’t see any major shortcomings in what we had submitted and my team seemed to agree.
That realisation, almost immediately, made me feel a sense of relief.
Seek Constructive Feedback
I, subsequently, contacted the potential client and asked for a feedback session. They agreed and I went into it expecting to come out with an entire list of things I could have done better.
To my surprise, it was something we could not have done much about. They were very impressed with our proposal pitch and had a lot of positive feedback. It ultimately came down to our experience in their specific segment. Our team wasn’t as well-versed within the geo-thermal space as our competitors were and that, could not have been changed over the time span of the proposal effort.
We knew of that handicap when we got into the process but we thought we could overcome it because we made it to the final stage. Yet, it wasn’t something we could have done much about in hindsight.
That insight, in turn, was even more relieving for me. It made me realise that we had all done whatever we could. It wasn’t down to our effort in the end.
Whether it's asking a potential employer/client why one wasn’t selected or getting a colleague’s perspective on what went wrong, feedback helps. It often reveals aspects that we may have overlooked, as was the case in this situation.
Move Forward
Eventually, once the first three steps are out of the way, it’s time to move forward. It’s time to revisit goals, incorporate feedback and move on.
Rejection doesn’t define us—how we respond to it does.
We all need to recognise that every "no" should be considered a step closer to a "yes."
Rejection is neither easy to digest nor easy to deal with. Having the right mindset and strategies, however, turns rejection into an opportunity for growth.
So….
LET’S EMBRACE REJECTION AND KEEP MOVING AHEAD!