NMCJ -4: Layoff Blues
Learnings for getting fired
Hello everyone!
Welcome to my fourth newsletter.
I recently posted on LinkedIn that I’ve been laid-off. I am overwhelmed with all the messages of support and encouragement. Thank you all! Means a lot :).
Getting asked to leave is never fun, especially when you’re not expecting it. It can knock anyone off and, all of a sudden, your world changes. I have, unfortunately, been through this painful experience more than once now and it’s hard.
Disclaimer:
This newsletter is primarily focused on an earlier layoff situation that I had to go through. The good news, of course, is that I bounced back when it happened earlier and I keep telling myself that things will work out this time as well. I’m laying out the experience I went through earlier.
I intend to take up whatever I learned through it to keep myself grounded and come out stronger again!
Now back to it…..
My Line Manager had given me the news and I remember it being one of the most awkward moments of my life, although I did try to hide it. Beyond the hard finance focused practical implications, it took a huge emotional toll. I wasn’t in a state of crisis, considering the facts. I still, for instance, could afford my mortgage for a while and had some savings lined up but it was a huge blow to my self-esteem.
I was told that it had nothing to do with me personally and that the company had to take away my role altogether. With funding drying up and weak sales, they were struggling and they had to make cuts.
That, however, didn’t feel relieving at that point in time. After all, while a few others were fired with me, the company still had people working for it. Why was their role important and not mine? I had worked hard and the feedback I had been getting was quite positive. Furthermore, I believed in the message of the company and liked my colleagues. Why, then, was I in the firing line and not so many others?
While the news was distressing and a huge blow to my self-esteem, it did get better of course. This is the story of what I learned through that experience.
Here goes……….
Hedge yourself in advance
It’s very important not to get carried away with fluffy messaging from your employer. Phrases like ‘we are a family!’ and ‘we look out for each other’ sound great but well, the minute the bottom-line gets a beating, everything flips.
You might really like the people you work with and the work itself as well. It might be the opposite case as well and you might not find your job motivating at all. In either case, it’s important to keep yourself grounded and be prepared for that one hastily scheduled meeting which would end in your manager asking you to leave.
I’m not saying you need to be in perpetual panic mode. That won’t serve any purpose. One must, however, be open to the possibility of getting laid-off and think about how one would deal with such a situation.
In my case, it really helped that I had worked on building my network over time. Furthermore, I had a sense of the roles and companies I would like to look into and started following them. I guess one other bit that helped was the fact that I had my CV and LinkedIn profile updated and ready to send.
What I guess is most important is to do your job well but not let it define you. Learn to keep an outside-in perspective open.
Don’t be too hard on yourself
In such situations, it’s quite easy to sink into a self deprecating loop. The ‘WHY ME??’ question can keep on pestering you. In my case, as alluded to earlier, I was told that the business wasn’t going according to plan and that, as a result, I had to leave along with some of my colleagues. Thus, it wasn’t personal and well, it wasn’t on me so to speak.
It was a major lay-off round and, while I don’t have the exact figures, I know of at least 25 people who were asked to leave, out of 90. Yet, the fact that I wasn’t amongst the people who got to stay kept on bothering me. I must have done something wrong…right??
It took a while for me to come to terms with the fact that I wasn’t doing myself any favours by brooding over where I went wrong. In all honesty, I had had a sense of where the company was going and that the figures weren’t showing a healthy picture. That had been clear to me for months so I should have started to make a plan to jump ship earlier but…I guess I just chose to look the other way.
Seeing the positive perspective in such situations is tough and I struggled with that. Yet, the realisation that it actually had been out of my hands helped. It was hard to put that self deprecating instinct aside but, had I stuck with it, I would never have found the confidence to get back in job hunt mode and subsequently, not been able to land my next gig.
This too shall pass
Getting laid-off, especially when you’re not expecting it (which is mostly the case I guess) can leave you in a state of shock, confusion and hopelessness. You come to terms with your vulnerable side in a strange way.
At that point, I couldn’t help feeling like all the work I had put in for years had been worth nothing and, that, there was no point to it all if I could just get fired out of the blue. The late evenings that I had worked….the last-minute submissions…..the trainings received…..the trainings delivered…..all seemed like a giant blob of wasted effort.
What helped me personally at that point was taking a wider perspective and well, reminding myself that ‘the only constant is change’. Situations, feelings, circumstances….they all change. It’s natural to feel a sense of hopelessness when you’re told you’re not needed after all that you’ve put in but…… it’s important not to let it sink you.
Know your rights and be confident
What you are legally entitled to, in case you get laid-off, depends on several aspects. In any case, it’s important to make sure you are aware of your rights and that you exercise your rights confidently.
I live in Sweden, a country with very strong labor protection laws. Once you’ve passed your probationary period (typically 6 months), you can’t be asked to leave without a 3-month notice period.
Furthermore, there is a LIFO (Last in first out) rule that applies. Essentially, that means that if your employer hired someone after you, whose role you are qualified to take, you have the right to take that role. I was also a member of a union, which, helped me understand my rights and advised me on how I could position myself to negotiate an exit offer with my employer.
I got some resistance from the HR at my employer, of course. We were locked in a negotiation for a week or so with me demanding more and, them, coming at it from the other end. They eventually realised that I had done my homework and when I eventually handed them a list of employees who were hired after me and that I could replace them, they had to give me some leeway. Over the 3-month notice period, I got a payout for an additional 3 months. Essentially, that meant that from the day I got told I had to leave, I had 6 paid months to find another job.
I know that every country has its own laws regarding employment protection and that, not every country offers the protection that Sweden does. The point I wanted to stress was that it’s important to know your rights in any case. If there is legal protection that you are entitled to, it’s always good to get a sense of it if you happen to end up in a lay off situation.
Self-reflect
While getting laid off can be a major bolt from the blue that can be overwhelming and unsettling, it can be the ideal opportunity to take a step-back and introspect. I was keen on rolling up my sleeves, cleaning up my CV and getting on with my job hunt. I thought, well, I’d need to do that anyway so why not just get on with it.
A friend sat me down at that point and gave me a pep talk. He encouraged me to take some time on my own and reflect on my journey. He suggested listing down the bits that I had enjoyed, the bits that I had not and, well, what I would want going forward. His point was that, while its important to not let yourself be knocked off course by a bump, it is even more important to make sure you want to be on that course in the first place.
I took his advice and that really helped. My damaged self esteem was pinching me to well….suck it up and get the ball rolling but I was able to put it to one side. I developed a clear sense of the kind of role I wanted and the kind of company I wanted to work for next. I also reflected on what I would need from my future Line Manager in order to thrive.
We all have career wish lists and, well, most of us don’t get to tick the whole list off. That’s the whole idea behind my ‘meandering career journey’ :p. Yet, it’s important to have a career wish list. Not having one would leave you directionless and make your career develop like a shuffling Spotify playlist, with you enjoying some tracks and possible hating others. You might have to compromise eventually but taking some time to self-reflect can help one mark out the strong ‘Yeses’ and ‘Nos’ at least.
If the situation allows, leave on a positive note
In a lay-off situation, it’s easy to harbour resentment and take on bitterness. After all, if you genuinely believe you put in the effort and played your part towards the success of the company, getting fired could feel like a betrayal. Thus, it’s understandable if you let your emotions do the talking in such situations and express your disapproval through them.
In my experience, however, being able to disguise emotions and putting a lid over what’s going on inside really helps in such situations. During the lay-off conversation that my Line Manager organised, he even said to me, ‘thank you for being so calm’. He, subsequently, offered to take me for lunch and introduce me to people in his network who could potentially help me in finding my next gig.
He even organised a farewell event for me and another colleague. That felt strange because, well, everyone at the event knew we had been asked to leave but it felt good to have several of my colleagues show up to give us a proper farewell!
While I was able to secure my next job without leveraging his contacts, I still needed his support as a referee. The HR at my next employer wanted to talk to my most recent Line Manager and do a reference call with him. Imagine how that had gone down if I had let my anger come out during the lay-off discussion :p.
This, of course, isn’t an easy tip to follow and on another day, perhaps, I would have let my emotions get the better of me. I’m just saying that controlling my emotions that day helped me in the long run. Thus, if you can, try to stay calm.
Try to spend more time with people you trust
Getting laid off is a major blow to one’s self-esteem and it’s an experience that forces one to raise and address some difficult questions. The ‘not being good enough’ part of it can be very hard to deal with. At that point, it’s extremely difficult to see a way out or a ‘light at the end of tunnel’ as they say. Yet, a few words of encouragement can often help a lot.
I, for instance, struggled a lot to come to terms with what had happened and, as alluded to earlier, the ‘WHY ME?’ aspect of it was hard to grasp for me. I was, however, lucky that I had people that I could count on at that point. These were friends and family members whom I could trust and be vulnerable with. These were people who kept on reminding me that I had a lot to offer and that I needed to stop being hard on myself.
We all need a shoulder to cry on from time to time and people we trust provide that. Sharing my pain with others taught me a lot about being vulnerable and also about how one should offer support.
Summing it all up, getting laid off can be a painful experience and, in my case, it hit me hard. Pushing myself to get back in job hunt mode wasn’t easy for me and I hope to empathise with others who are struggling through what I have written here. If you’ve been laid off recently, my thoughts go out to you and, if someone you know has been laid off, I would urge you to check in on them and offer support.
I hope you found this newsletter insightful and worth your time :). Thank you for going through it!
Great post, Naush. And good reflections about not taking things personally. Very hard to do, but is a skill you can get better at. Don't you think?
I could relate to each and every word, that was beautifully written 👌. Thanks for the words of encouragement!