One thing I can promise you, is that if you continue as you are, you will break at some point. We all have belief systems in our subconscious mind. For example, "I am not good enough" and therefore I have to work really hard to prove myself. And so we work ourselves into the ground. Trying to please everyone and feeling guilty when we are not working like crazy.
In reality, this simply holds us back.
Can you honestly expect to operate at the same level while hardly getting any sleep? Can you work honestly expect you to operate at the same level when you have just had a new baby?
I am not sure what country you live in but it is clear that your work doesn't care about your well being. Remember the world will not end if you don't do your work. If you don't look after your own health and wellbeing then you can't be the best you can be for others. Especially for your baby and wife.
It’s interesting to read your articles with a different touch now, the added layer of fatherhood, which is quite interesting, though I didn’t personally experience this kind of guilt. For me, I felt I had that sort of a balance in different roles. I was on maternity leave with my child initially, so I had the main responsibility at home while my husband worked full-time. I also had a good support system and my husband’s support when he was back from work. During that time, I was 100 percent switched off from work and fully focused on my new role as a parent. When I went back to work, I was actually happy to have that time for myself and focus on something outside of home life and my career. At that point, my husband took over the primary role, switching off from work 100 percent to be fully present with our child. I found this balance worked well for us and we both had that quality time with our child and soaked in all that we had in a moment.
It’s fascinating how different these experiences can be!
One thing that really helped me was clearly setting boundaries between work and home life, so I could fully focus on whichever role I was in at the time. Could be a conscious creation of that sort of a separation. This whole sense of being present will always be there, you will also have to leave the kid to the preschool one day, when you’re leaving then with a person unknown to you for the first time. That’s another milestone, but being there and being present when you’re there and knowing when you’re not, someone’s there whether a preschool teacher or my husband or his grandparents..
Thank you so much for your sharing your thoughts and experiences Anzee. I guess setting clear boundaries is what I am finding hard. With the baby's routine not being set, its a constant struggle to be flexible.
The sense of parental guilt never really goes away. I tell myself I am a parent and I am human. I did miss a mile stone when he first learned to do the steps, crawl up them! My husband was there and got to experience that but I miss it because I was at work. Our son is now 17 and there are other challenges like being on the road and working a first job. College in less than 2 years. It goes so fast
I see you . love you and appreciate everything you do for us! ♥️ it’s not easy juggling work when you want to be with your baby
Thanks wifey!
My Dear you are an immaculate warm loving person and above all a ❤️ loving Dad
Thanks abbu!
One thing I can promise you, is that if you continue as you are, you will break at some point. We all have belief systems in our subconscious mind. For example, "I am not good enough" and therefore I have to work really hard to prove myself. And so we work ourselves into the ground. Trying to please everyone and feeling guilty when we are not working like crazy.
In reality, this simply holds us back.
Can you honestly expect to operate at the same level while hardly getting any sleep? Can you work honestly expect you to operate at the same level when you have just had a new baby?
I am not sure what country you live in but it is clear that your work doesn't care about your well being. Remember the world will not end if you don't do your work. If you don't look after your own health and wellbeing then you can't be the best you can be for others. Especially for your baby and wife.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts. That is so true. In my latest piece, I explore how the balancing act is taking me through a sense of burnout!
Sense of humor helps, doesn't it? I will check out your latest piece :-)
Oh - I SO recognise that guilt - amid the exhaustion! Excellent article about something so important!
Thx Lizzie!
It’s interesting to read your articles with a different touch now, the added layer of fatherhood, which is quite interesting, though I didn’t personally experience this kind of guilt. For me, I felt I had that sort of a balance in different roles. I was on maternity leave with my child initially, so I had the main responsibility at home while my husband worked full-time. I also had a good support system and my husband’s support when he was back from work. During that time, I was 100 percent switched off from work and fully focused on my new role as a parent. When I went back to work, I was actually happy to have that time for myself and focus on something outside of home life and my career. At that point, my husband took over the primary role, switching off from work 100 percent to be fully present with our child. I found this balance worked well for us and we both had that quality time with our child and soaked in all that we had in a moment.
It’s fascinating how different these experiences can be!
One thing that really helped me was clearly setting boundaries between work and home life, so I could fully focus on whichever role I was in at the time. Could be a conscious creation of that sort of a separation. This whole sense of being present will always be there, you will also have to leave the kid to the preschool one day, when you’re leaving then with a person unknown to you for the first time. That’s another milestone, but being there and being present when you’re there and knowing when you’re not, someone’s there whether a preschool teacher or my husband or his grandparents..
Thank you so much for your sharing your thoughts and experiences Anzee. I guess setting clear boundaries is what I am finding hard. With the baby's routine not being set, its a constant struggle to be flexible.
The sense of parental guilt never really goes away. I tell myself I am a parent and I am human. I did miss a mile stone when he first learned to do the steps, crawl up them! My husband was there and got to experience that but I miss it because I was at work. Our son is now 17 and there are other challenges like being on the road and working a first job. College in less than 2 years. It goes so fast
Thanks Jane! I guess I'll miss many milestones as well and I need to be ok with that. As with anything in life, you cant have it all.
Even if you blink you can miss them, but it's the moments that aren't milestones that are the biggest gift. Remember that