This resonated with me deeply. I guess I'm what they call a "people pleaser," and this is the main reason I'm struggling at the workplace. I avoid conflicts at all costs and can't say no when people ask me to do something, even if I feel uncomfortable. I want to leave a good impression and hope that people don't think of me as a negative person. As a result, I feel exhausted most of the time and start to question my decisions. Your article sheds some light on my situation; I didn't know emotional agility was a thing until now.
Thank you so much Lee and I am so happy that the piece resonated with you. Ive been there and its very tough to set boundaries. I would urge you not be hard on yourself and keep reminding yourself that it will take time. More power to you!
I actually came to reflect on the line which someone already has mentioned in the comments ‘ Emotions are not obstacles. They are allies in navigating the complexities of our lives.’ This is so true and one totally forgets this. We tend to get so much validation from working too much or hard without realising that you are not being productive at work or in your personal life. This piece is a good reminder about dealing with emotions. I loved it. Curious to know How and when did you realise that you were miserable at work? And you needed to show compassion? Any tips on that?
Thanks a lot for your comment Nida. I don't think there was one moment that I could point to. I just started to realise that I was struggling at work and at home. I wasn't in a good headspace at all and was expressing my frustration in unhealthy ways. I had to change course somehow because I didn't like it at all.
This is growth and you should be utterly proud of the steps you have taken - acknowledging your flaws and recognising what you could have done differently. Absolutely brave! Congratulations Naush!
Very informative! I agree that there is inevitably many emotions involved in workplaces and getting to manage them it key to getting by! The importance of emotions in many environments is often overlooked!
Thank you so much! I completely agree. Emotions don't know the difference between personal and professional I guess and we need to take note of that fact.
Great piece, Naush! Yes, what you wrote is so accurate about how emotions are helpers, not blockers. And I loved that you've described your journey of learning how to relate to what you've felt. Keep up the self-work; you are on a great path, not an easy one, but definitely worth the time as you inspire others to wonder!
"Emotions are not obstacles. They are allies in navigating the complexities of our lives. The line between personal and professional gets blurred when it comes to feelings and emotions. Emotional agility can help us acknowledge that and enhance our resilience."
Hey Naush, this is a great article that I definitely resonate with! I've been stressed out a lot at workplaces where I wasn't making much money, but the thought of me messing something up would always creep into my mind and mess me up, which would also make me overcritical of myself, yet angry when anyone offered constructive criticism. I totally agree with your point about self-compassion. I've been practicing that with things like journaling, reflection, and even mindfulness exercises to cultivate more self-compassion and more self-love in the end. Keep up the good work Naush! :)
Thanks Khadejah. Im glad it resonated with you. Its hard to stop and take stock of things when you're in that cycle. I guess that's what happened with us both. Self-compassion should be a concept taught at an early age if you ask me. It's something we can all benefit from, in our own ways. Thanks again :)!
I totally agree Naush! There are so many mistakes in my life that could have been easily avoided if I had learned self-compassion earlier. Thank you so much for posting this! Keep up the great work :)
Thanks for the vulnerability on this, Naush. It's something that most men, myself included, are such novices on. Stoic and heroic almost never works. Thanks for that reminder.
I always appreciate a view into what was going on under the surface, a level that's not visible in the workspace but plays out in a person's inner world. Thank you.
I'm humbled that my articles have inspired your self-reflections and this article. We each have our journey of self-awareness and learning. I hope to continue to support and help you on yours via Carer Mentor. I'm glad that you're practising self compassion together with these insight-reflections & discoveries.
I'm sure your self-starter, curiosity and self-analysis of your journey will inspire others and,help them.
A helpful question I ask my mentoring clients and an exercise that you could use if it resonates:
What specific action would you take? Or what would you say in a similar situation next time? Granular actions/tools in our back pockets can empower us/short-circuit negative escalation of issues.
Keep reminding yourself to be compassionate and kind as you look back over your journey and actions...it's always easy to criticise ourselves in hindsight. Good for you Naush!
Thank you so much Victoria! I find your articles incredibly insightful and have found them relatable on many different levels.
I'll definitely take some time and think about these questions. Self-reflection goes a long way in the journey towards emotional agility and self-awareness.
This resonated with me deeply. I guess I'm what they call a "people pleaser," and this is the main reason I'm struggling at the workplace. I avoid conflicts at all costs and can't say no when people ask me to do something, even if I feel uncomfortable. I want to leave a good impression and hope that people don't think of me as a negative person. As a result, I feel exhausted most of the time and start to question my decisions. Your article sheds some light on my situation; I didn't know emotional agility was a thing until now.
Thank you so much Lee and I am so happy that the piece resonated with you. Ive been there and its very tough to set boundaries. I would urge you not be hard on yourself and keep reminding yourself that it will take time. More power to you!
Thank you for the kind words. Your article helps a lot, at least I think I have learned to how to navigate through all of this!
I actually came to reflect on the line which someone already has mentioned in the comments ‘ Emotions are not obstacles. They are allies in navigating the complexities of our lives.’ This is so true and one totally forgets this. We tend to get so much validation from working too much or hard without realising that you are not being productive at work or in your personal life. This piece is a good reminder about dealing with emotions. I loved it. Curious to know How and when did you realise that you were miserable at work? And you needed to show compassion? Any tips on that?
Thanks a lot for your comment Nida. I don't think there was one moment that I could point to. I just started to realise that I was struggling at work and at home. I wasn't in a good headspace at all and was expressing my frustration in unhealthy ways. I had to change course somehow because I didn't like it at all.
This is growth and you should be utterly proud of the steps you have taken - acknowledging your flaws and recognising what you could have done differently. Absolutely brave! Congratulations Naush!
Thank you so much Janice! Your comments mean a lot :). I guess acknowledging and trying to make improvements is what life is all about.
Very informative! I agree that there is inevitably many emotions involved in workplaces and getting to manage them it key to getting by! The importance of emotions in many environments is often overlooked!
Thank you so much! I completely agree. Emotions don't know the difference between personal and professional I guess and we need to take note of that fact.
Great piece, Naush! Yes, what you wrote is so accurate about how emotions are helpers, not blockers. And I loved that you've described your journey of learning how to relate to what you've felt. Keep up the self-work; you are on a great path, not an easy one, but definitely worth the time as you inspire others to wonder!
"Emotions are not obstacles. They are allies in navigating the complexities of our lives. The line between personal and professional gets blurred when it comes to feelings and emotions. Emotional agility can help us acknowledge that and enhance our resilience."
Thank you so much Katerina! Yeap....I hope I can keep it up. Your words offer a lot of encouragement :).
You will! I’m glad you feel encouragement!
Hey Naush, this is a great article that I definitely resonate with! I've been stressed out a lot at workplaces where I wasn't making much money, but the thought of me messing something up would always creep into my mind and mess me up, which would also make me overcritical of myself, yet angry when anyone offered constructive criticism. I totally agree with your point about self-compassion. I've been practicing that with things like journaling, reflection, and even mindfulness exercises to cultivate more self-compassion and more self-love in the end. Keep up the good work Naush! :)
Thanks Khadejah. Im glad it resonated with you. Its hard to stop and take stock of things when you're in that cycle. I guess that's what happened with us both. Self-compassion should be a concept taught at an early age if you ask me. It's something we can all benefit from, in our own ways. Thanks again :)!
I totally agree Naush! There are so many mistakes in my life that could have been easily avoided if I had learned self-compassion earlier. Thank you so much for posting this! Keep up the great work :)
Thanks for the vulnerability on this, Naush. It's something that most men, myself included, are such novices on. Stoic and heroic almost never works. Thanks for that reminder.
Thanks John. Indeed. We struggle a lot with being vulnerable. Guess it’s down to conditioning and it’s something we have to take head on.
I always appreciate a view into what was going on under the surface, a level that's not visible in the workspace but plays out in a person's inner world. Thank you.
Thanks Klara. Yeah. I had internalised a lot of things that I am identifying now. Reflecting on past experiences helps a lot.
Similar process has been happening here :) After 14 years like you.
I'm humbled that my articles have inspired your self-reflections and this article. We each have our journey of self-awareness and learning. I hope to continue to support and help you on yours via Carer Mentor. I'm glad that you're practising self compassion together with these insight-reflections & discoveries.
I'm sure your self-starter, curiosity and self-analysis of your journey will inspire others and,help them.
A helpful question I ask my mentoring clients and an exercise that you could use if it resonates:
What specific action would you take? Or what would you say in a similar situation next time? Granular actions/tools in our back pockets can empower us/short-circuit negative escalation of issues.
Keep reminding yourself to be compassionate and kind as you look back over your journey and actions...it's always easy to criticise ourselves in hindsight. Good for you Naush!
Thank you so much Victoria! I find your articles incredibly insightful and have found them relatable on many different levels.
I'll definitely take some time and think about these questions. Self-reflection goes a long way in the journey towards emotional agility and self-awareness.
Thanks again for inspiring me :)!